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frat.jpフォーラム :: トピック - 虫けらのように死にたい
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虫けらのように死にたい
http://frat.jp/forum/viewtopic.php?f=9&t=122
ページ 11

作成者:  fratdrive [ 2016年6月23日(木) 17:05 ]
記事の件名:  虫けらのように死にたい

外の水道管の柱に畳んで置いたウェスの上に、虫が一匹、仰向けにしてお亡くなりになっている。たぶん、昨年10月頃、秋が深まっていったある時、衰弱した体でたどり着き、ふかふかのベッドにくるまれるような感じで安らかに天寿を全うしたと思われる。そこはちょっとした物陰になっていて風の当たりも弱く、今もお亡くなりになった恰好のまま、そこにいる。
虫は、夢や希望を抱いて生きているわけではない。ただ生まれ、生き、おそらく多くは鳥に食われたり、僕らの足で何気に踏み潰されたりして死んでいき、それでも残った虫たちは嘆き苦しむでもなく、ただ生き、そして死んでいく。その者が生前何を為し遂げたのかなんて関係なしに、生まれてそして死んでいく。
夏の終わりから夜あれだけやかましく鳴いた虫たちも、冬の訪れ、気温の低下とともにしだいに活動を鈍らせていき、弱っていく。よたよた這ったり、それでもなんとか飛んだり、飛ぼうとしたりという姿が、庭のあちこちで見られる。
(農薬をほとんど使わないのと、草を抜かずに刈るという管理のせいだと思うが、うちの庭は生き物が多い)
最後の一瞬までなんとか生きようとする姿はシンプルで、悩みなど無縁の存在に見える。僕らももともとは、野生のなかでああいう存在だったはずだ。
ただ生き、そして死ぬ。そういう、虫けらのようになりたいと思う今日このごろです。

初出:2014年1月21日

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